Melvin (Mel) and Barbara Sawyer have two photos, side by side, on their refrigerator – one is of the first baby they fostered in their home in 1988, and the other is of the last, who left their home and their care less than a month ago, closing out nearly a quarter century of caring for nearly 30 babies in need.
Some stayed with them a few days or weeks; others were in their home for more than a year before being adopted, or in rare cases, returned to their birth parent or parents.
They all came from less than ideal beginnings.
“A lot of them would have little wrinkled brows when they came to us,” Mrs. Sawyer said. “It’s as if they were worried.”
Many suffered from drug addictions given to them in the womb.
“It was strange, some would have to be swaddled and just held tightly from about 9 p.m. to midnight each night,” she said. “Drugs have changed the nature of fostering, as it has the whole world.”
The Sawyers closed their home to fostering earlier this month, feeling that they have done as much as they can for as long as they can.
“We’re both in our 70s now; it was getting hard to lift and carry the babies,” Mrs. Sawyer said.
But, knowing they’ve done all they can doesn’t take away the emptiness felt in arms that are used to holding an infant, or in some cases, infants.
“It just doesn’t seem right,” Mr. Sawyer said. “We miss them.”
The couple says emphatically that they would do it all again.
“This has been a wonderful journey for us,” Mrs. Sawyer said. “We have dearly loved each and every baby and we feel blessed that we could play a part in their early development. They arrived as newborns with varying needs and it was fun for us to see the babies come alive, grow, develop, and watch their personalities emerge. We were able to give each a loving start along their way.”
Of course, one of the most often asked questions is “how can you let them go?”
“That’s the hard part, but we do the best we can for them from when they come here to when they leave,” Mrs. Sawyer said. “We know at the onset they will go on another path. But for their stay with us, they are the center of our world. We miss each one and pray for the best possible outcome.”
And the Sawyers become, if the child’s family is willing, a loving “extra” set of grandparents who continue to keep up with, and to dote on, the children they have loved as their own.
“You hope for the best for them,” Mr. Sawyer said, adding that very few of the babies have gone back to their original families – most are adopted, either by family members, or another adoptive family. The Sawyers are often invited to attend baptisms, family gatherings and school events of their former foster children.
And the Sawyers have children, and grandchildren, of their own.
“It’s a yours, mine and ours situation,” Mrs. Sawyer said smiling.
Her husband has two grown children by a previous marriage, she has a grown adoptive daughter, and together they adopted one of the first children they fostered.
The Sawyers got into fostering babies shortly after they married. They were taking the required foster care classes when Mrs. Sawyer’s daughter got married and moved out, leaving them “empty nesters.”
“We both just love babies, so we decided we wanted to be a foster home for zero to two-year olds,” Mr. Sawyer said.
And it wasn’t long before their first baby – a little tow-headed boy – arrived. He was soon followed by others – girls, boys, black, white – it didn’t matter, it only mattered that they needed a home and arms to hold them.
“We tried to have just one at a time, but sometimes there were two,” Mr. Sawyer said. They could rarely say “no.”
“Particularly if we knew one was about to leave, we’d take another,” Mrs. Sawyer said.
Though now retired, in the beginning both worked outside the home, adding to the challenges of caring for a newborn. “Working couples and single mothers do it, so we did too,” she said.
Sometimes it was so hectic they stood in the kitchen to eat, each holding a baby in their arms.
Mrs. Sawyer remembers one Christmas when they purchased a “push button” Christmas tree that was already decorated because there was just no time for anything except caring for babies.
Though their arms are now empty, their heads and hearts are full of loving memories of the babies – some of them now grown, who shared their lives for a little while.
“I hope we gave them a good foundation,” Mrs. Sawyer said.
And they continue to encourage others to give foster care a try.
“There continues to be a definite need for safe and loving foster homes and we would encourage others to begin their free IMPACT (Initial Interest Mutual Selection Pre-Service Training Assessment Continuing Development Teamwork) training in their county of residence,” Mrs. Sawyer said. “This is the first step for beginning the process for having their home approved (for foster care).”
Madison County DFCS director Lisa Plank agrees.
“We always have a need for foster homes,” she said, adding that the Sawyers were wonderful foster parents.
“Their most significant attribute was their ability to love and care for these babies, while still being able to partner with the child’s family,” she said. “They were flexible and able to adapt to each child’s needs – I guess you could say that it’s a ‘calling.’”
Contact Madison County Department of Family and Children’s Services at 706-795-2128 or call the statewide inquiry line at 1-877-210-KIDS for more information on becoming a foster parent.
As for the Sawyers, they’ll continue to cherish the memories of time they consider well spent.
“They were our entire focus while they were here – we spoiled them rotten,” Mrs. Sawyer said. “I’d rather be holding a baby in my arms than anything else.”
Thanks for sending the article to Laurel's sons. Love, Barbara
Tina