When it comes to being a mentor to a child, there are many ways to approach the task.
For Doyle and Helen Beatenbough, it was a team approach.
The couple met their mentee “Rusty” (not his real name) when he was in the fourth grade.
“He was just an itty bitty little fellow, now he’s taller than I am,” Doyle said of Rusty, who’s now in the tenth grade at Madison County High School.
“He was the cutest little boy I’d ever seen,” Helen said. “We just love him.”
And they still have a piece of paper that they had him draw “the road of his life” on during one of their first mentoring sessions.
“We told him the future was in his hands and that he could make good or bad choices for himself,” Helen said.
After signing up to be mentors, the couple had received information about Rusty through mentor program director Shirley Aaron, and an overview of his situation through the school’s counselor.
“With his tumultuous family situation, it just seemed as if he had no chance, and he needed a chance,” Doyle said.
Rusty was having problems at school and had been suspended. He had also missed a lot of school. The first thing the Beatenboughs did was give him “constants” in his life. As things around him changed, including where he lived, they remained a stable force for him.
“We spent a lot of time listening to him, to what he wanted for himself,” Doyle said. “And we let him know we believed he could be whatever he wanted to be unless he stopped himself.”
These days, Rusty is passing all his classes and is discussing his future with his mentors.
“This kid’s going to succeed because of them,” Aaron said.
The Beatenboughs are much more than the typical mentors. All that is required to be a mentor is to agree to spend two hours with your mentee each month at the school. Mentors are not tutors, they can spend time talking with the child, playing games, doing projects or just having lunch together.
The Beatenboughs have made Rusty a part of their family. “He comes to our house to visit and Helen helps him with school projects,” Doyle said. They also see that he has what he needs, and some of the things he wants.
“We think we’ve broken the mold with him and he’s going to be a productive, constructive, member of society,” Doyle said.
The Beatenboughs say it’s a very worthwhile experience to be a mentor. While there have been some hard times, the feelings of satisfaction and pleasure they have found in their relationship with this young man far outweigh everything else.
“I can’t describe the feeling you get when you know you have helped someone overcome circumstances that they have no control over,” Doyle said. “It’s something money can’t buy – this is just priceless.”
The mentor program currently has 207 mentors system-wide, according to Aaron, but there are 1,950 children on the waiting list. “The need is great,” she said, especially for male mentors.
January was National Mentoring Month, Aaron said, with a highlight being “Thank Your Mentor Day,” which was Jan. 26. The mentor program is in its thirteenth year in the county, having been piloted in the middle school before branching out system-wide. The program is sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce (its original sponsor), M.A.R.T. The Madison Area Resource Team) and the board of education.
“Being a mentor is simple; just be a friend,” Aaron said. “Of course, mentors are given ideas for activities to do and other ways to share with the mentee, but the mentors are ingenious at knowing how to relate to their students.”
HOW TO BECOME A MENTOR
It’s easy to become a mentor, Aaron says. First, prospective mentors must complete an application and allow the sheriff’s office to perform a background check. Once approved, mentors are given a choice of what school they would like to mentor at and the school then identifies an interested student to pair with them. The mentor commits to the program for one school year and agrees to spend a minimum of two hours per month during school hours with their student.
For more information on the mentor program, or to sign up, contact Aaron at 706-338-3689 or e-mail her at mcmentor@madison.k12.ga.us
I know they do it not for money or fame but just because they love and really care. You Guys are truly Awesome and I love you all!
We all need to let our youth know that we do love them and things will be ok and its ok to make mistakes we all do even us Grown ups.
They are forgiven as we will have been .We can never give up on them or leave them behind regardless of how caught up in things we get.
Even some of us as parents and grown ups need some mentoring to at times and there is no shame in being human, because we all lose our way at times. Some get into trouble and some just never get caught but we are all guilty of something, its hard not to be in this confusing world we live in.
We could all learn from on another if we would just not be afraid to open up our hearts and souls to one another without fear of redress or persecution and quit living with the true silent killer of us all hiding in the darkness with unwarranted guilt and shame.
It reminds me of a great truth . Why would we light a candle and then hide it under a bowl.
It just doesn't make sense what we are all doing to ourselves.